School Starts.

Trail run on the Bonneville Shoreline.

I am feeling a bit panicky as this is my last official weekend before I embark on a three-year, year-round journey to complete my Doctorate of Nurse Practitioner program in Mental Health. I am about to be a student again! And after an almost 8-year break from reading and studying and powerpoint-making, I feel as though it will be a major shock to my system.

We all know how already spread thin I feel lately.

I had a moment this morning where I felt tears spring to my eyes as I thought about how I will ever balance my role as both a mom and a wife, a full-time nurse in the ER and a graduate student for a very demanding program all while continuing to consistently work out and maintain my friendships. I know it will take some time to adjust to what will be our new-normal for the next few years and hopefully my two prerequisite classes that begin Monday will help to jog my memory on how to be a student once again.

I'm interested to see if my type-A student habits remain intact.

Happy Weekend! What are your plans? Happy hour at Finca this afternoon and then I am going to the opening night of the ballet with friends. Work and school prep for the remainder of the weekend!

Weekly Workouts: Monday - CrossFit! Tempo front squats: 4-3-2-3-4-8 (105lbs), then Randy: 75 power snatches (65lbs). Tuesday - CrossFit! Shoulder press: 8-6-6-10 (103lbs) + 90-degree bent over rows (103lbs). Then partner WOD 21-15-9 of deadlifts + chest-to-bar 145lbs/red band (partner holds static hold of bar at waist or static hang while the partner works), my grip was toast after! Wednesday - Rest day! Thursday - Trail run! 4.1 miles/38 min/747 ft elev gain. Friday - Road bike ride! Emigration Canyon. 15.3 miles/56 min/1,318 ft elev gain.

Struggles.

The Colorado National Monument. Fruita, CO.

A few weeks ago Lee and Alice took a trip to Canada without me. A limited span of days off from work and an $800 plane ticket were major factors in why I didn't go but there was also something else: I was in desperate need of some time alone.

Before they left on their daddy-and-daughter trip to visit my in-laws, I felt my patience for the daily grind waning. I bickered incessantly with Lee. I snapped frequently at Alice. I found myself with gritted teeth and boiling blood on most days. Every day I felt completely spent.

Burned out. Deflated. Threadbare.

Those ten days alone without my two loves certainly helped to alleviate some of the funk I had found myself in but, to be completely transparent, I am still struggling with our every day. Alice has entered a supremely difficult stage where everything we ask her to do results in an irrational fight or an enormous meltdown or hysterical tears. I know this will pass and eventually she'll grow out of it but I find myself wondering when it ever will and if I will ever enjoy being a mother again.

Because frankly right now, I really don't.

It may sound harsh to say that I don't enjoy being a mother but, in this moment, it is my truth. I've always kept this blog as a way to document my life, both the good and the bad, and to be inauthentic as to what I am going through completely defeats the purpose. Continuing in the vein of authenticity (and to give my harsh feelings a bit of background), my most frustrating mothering moments, when all I feel like doing is running from our loft, never to return, are usually on the tail-end of a string of night shifts when I am sleep-deprived and emotionally volatile.

Not surprisingly, Lee and I have decided those are not the days that I will be the primary caretaker.

There is some good news here, though: Lee and I have found ourselves stronger and more in love as of late. With a tantrum-throwing toddler at our feet on most nights, we've struggled to keep our cools with each other and have had to make heroic efforts to not take out our frustrations over our daughter's behavior on each other. We had a wonderful and much-needed date last night where we talked, I cried, and we committed to getting through this stage of parenthood in one piece.

And without killing our little spit-fire.

And now to shed a positive light on an otherwise negative post, I finished my 50K a few weekends ago. Lee and I left Alice with Grandma Julie for a few nights so that we could get away to Fruita and so that I could run the beautiful trails of the Colorado National Monument. Sadly there was rain again this year which changed the course from one 31.6-mile loop into three 10.3-mile loops.

Except during the first loop, we ran 14.8 miles due to a poorly marked course.

So my annual 50K was more like a 56K. But despite my bitching at the race director before my third loop and almost losing a toenail, I loved every minute of participating in that race.

Even those additional 6 kilometers.

 

Desert cacti in full bloom. // 50K finisher! April 18th, 2015.

Life updates.

Salt Lake City's new Public Safety Building.

I'm embarrassed at how completely I've abandoned blogging. What was once something I did almost daily has become even less than an afterthought. So many things have happened over the last few weeks that it would be remiss of me not to document these important life milestones. Please bear with me as I try to give you an update.

Back in March I was notified that I have been accepted into the Psychiatric/Mental Health Doctorate of Nurse Pracitioner program at the University of Utah for fall 2015. I am still in disbelief that I will soon be a student again and, I'll admit, I'm a bit nervous at what toll full-time school and full-time work might have on my personal life. But fortunately I have a very supportive husband and a somewhat flexible work schedule which will hopefully help make my three years as a full-time graduate student more tolerable.

To put it in perspective, by the time I graduate with my DNP I'll be almost 40 and I will have a 6-year old. Yikes.

Now some sad news: we sold my red TDI Jetta a few weeks ago. But we replaced it with the most gorgeous car: a Daytona grey Audi S-line Q5 TDI. It took me some time to figure out the bells and whistles on this car but now that I am more comfortable, I am completely obsessed with driving it. It is the nicest car that either of us have ever driven and we are treating it like our second child with frequent washings and obsessively parking it where the doors won't get dinged.

As you can imagine, trying to teach a 3-year old not to kick the leather seats with muddy feet or to touch the buttons with sticky hands has proved to be a challenge.

But cars are durable! And she is slowly learning to be respectful of our newest family member.

 

Pink blossoms at the SL Public Library.

Lately.

Morning macchiato. And bright orange lips.

I should know by early next week whether or not I have been accepted into the Doctorate of Nurse Pracitioner program at the University of Utah. Now that my application is in and the interview is behind me, I feel such a sense of relief. Both of those steps were so daunting and, at the very least, I am so proud of myself for following through with something that challenging. And, at this point, I feel at peace with whichever way their decision goes.

I look at it this way: either I'll be studying statistics and physiology or running trails and drinking beer this summer. Honestly, both sound equally appealing.

In other news, I've signed up for the same 50K that I did last year and the April 17th race day is rapidly approaching. My training this year isn't going nearly as smoothly as last year since I now have work days to plan my long runs around. I did do a run-commute to work this week, though! And, surprisingly, I felt pretty good for my entire 12-hour night shift despite having run 9.5 miles over 1,700 feet of elevation gain to the hospital.

Of course all of my co-workers think I am completely crazy.

Happy weekend! What are your plans? We have our weekly neighborhood meet-up tonight, called Finca Friday, and then later it's Bunco night! And then I'll be working night shifts for the remainder of the weekend. Boo!

Weekly workouts: Monday - Post night shift so... Rest day. Tuesday - CrossFit! Push press (5-3-3-1 increasing weight to 1RM... 108lbs) + Weighted pull-ups (ha! But I did link 3 unbanded pull-ups IN A ROW!), then 3 RFT of: 200m run + 5 wall walks + 10 HR push-ups + 15 box overs. Wednesday - Run commute to work! 9.5 miles/1:40/1,746 ft elev gain. Thursday - Post night shift... Ugh. Rest day. Friday - CrossFit! Bench press (5-3-3-1 103lbs) + weighted ring rows (body weight), then 15.1! 9 min AMRAP of: 15 T2B + 10 deadlifts + 5 snatches (65lbs).

Birthday.

Toddler Briana with Dad and Grandpa Glen. April 1981.

After weeks of not writing, it feels strange to start up again as I feel so out-of-practice and so much seems to have happened since I last posted. But today, on my 36th birthday, I felt the need to write and to say that I am alive and well. And another year older.

Being back to work in the Emergency Room feels normal now but I am still struggling to find a balance on my days off with working out, helping keep the house clean, seeing my friends, recovering from a two week-long cold, spending time with Alice and catching up on sleep since I've worked mostly night shifts this past month. I feel spread thin despite only working three days a week.

Those four days off seem to go so quickly.

Another thing that completely derailed my blogging was that looming January 15th deadline: I've officially applied to the Doctorate of Nurse Practitioner program for Fall 2015! The application process was nerve-racking and I swear I developed a stomach ulcer by the time I submitted. While trying to fall asleep or when out for a run or even when I had a quiet moment to myself, my gut would wrench and my mind would race over professional references or transcripts or my letter of intent. I spent more than a few nights staring at a computer screen wondering why I was torturing myself over this application. But then I submitted it (a few days early, even!) and I felt wonderful. This is definitely the right professional path forward for me.

I have no idea what they are looking for in an applicant or if I even stand a chance of getting in but I feel optimistic and proud for starting the application process and seeing it through to the end. And I'll find out in about six weeks if my summer will be spent running trails or taking statistics and physiology.

Speaking of running, I've signed up for another ultra! I loved the course so much that I decided to run the 50K at the Trail Running Festival in Fruita, CO, in April. I'm going to train much like I did last time with a little bit of running and a whole lot of CrossFit.

And hopefully there will be no rain to muck-up the course this year.

As luck would have it, I was scheduled to work tonight on my 36th birthday. But I'll be bringing a few dozen treats with me to work (RubySnap's Penelope cookie, anyone?!). And then, during my four days off, we'll have a kid-friendly birthday brunch (with booze!), Alice will go to my mom's for a sleepover, and Lee and I will have a romantic dinner out on the town.

My 36th year is starting out pretty sweet.

Gainfully Employed.

Yesterday's dry run of Alice's costume.

Good news! I got the job in the Emergency Department. I am officially going back to work! And even more good news! They accepted my negotiation and gave me more money.

This was the first time that I've negotiated my salary and boy, was it a nerve-racking experience. When I got a voicemail from the recruitment office, I talked with Lee before calling them back to ask him whether or not I should negotiate my salary. He said, "Yes. Absolutely."

The first thing I said to him was, "Okay. How?!"

Lee walked me through what he thought I should say, there was some role-playing and then some tweaking of my approach before I finally felt comfortable enough to return that phone call.

I was able to say most of what I wanted to in my negotiation of my hourly rate but I didn't feel comfortable throwing out a number like Lee had suggested. For some reason it felt too pushy. After I hung up and recounted the conversation to Lee I felt like I'd missed an opportunity by not asking for the number I had in mind.

Why is it when a man asks for more money he is being assertive but when a woman asks, she is being pushy? Hopefully Ididnt come across that way in my negotiation conversation but I believe the reason the recruiter told me that they don't negotiate salaries at that hospital and they only go off of years of experience as a nurse is because I work in a field that is dominated by women and women notoriously do not ask for more money when being offered a job.

I'll admit that when the recruiter didn't get back to me in the timeframe she'd committed to, I worried that I'd made a huge mistake by asking for more money and my brain immediately went into overdrive thinking that they probably went with another less-pushy candidate who would be happy to take the job for whatever rate they offered. When I admitted this thought process to Lee, he reassured me that I'd done the right thing and that if they were truly considering someone else with possibly less experience who would work for less money, then I shouldn't want to work there anyway.

Luckily that wasn't he case and now I am gainfully employed.

Happy Halloween! I'm 5 mini-candy bars into the day. How about you?!

Weekly Workouts: Monday - CrossFit! 5 x 5 back squat (105 lbs), then Annie! 9:47 Rx. Tuesday - Rest day! Wednesday - 20 min AMRAP of 2 rope climbs + 200 meter run + 1 prowler push (140lbs) + 30 DUs + 10 burpee box jumps (3 rounds + 2 rope climbs + 200m run + prowler push). Thursday - CrossFit! Heavy 2 position clean and jerk (100 lbs), then 5 RFT of 500 meter row + 5 power cleans (75lbs). Friday - Rest day!

Negotiation.

Patiently waiting for the light to change... & for the call-back about that job.

My peer interview yesterday went well despite the harder-than-usual clinical questions that were thrown at me from one of the nurses because, as she put it, I've worked in the well-known and somewhat famous Emergency Department at Massachusetts General. Even one of the other nurses in the interview said she was nervous for me as the questions were being asked!

But I survived.

Shortly after my interview I received a call that I was being offered the job. I haven't taken it yet as there was something that I felt needing negotiating and now I am waiting to hear what the outcome is of that negotiation.

I have so much more to say about applying for a job in a field dominated by women and what that means when trying to negotiate things like salary and benefits but I think that post is best saved for another day.

Best saved for after I receive that call-back regarding my hopefully successful negotiation, of course.

Busy.

We've had perfect fall weather the past two weeks.

It feels like it should be Friday already with all that I've done in the last few days. Coffee with a potential grad school reference (she said yes!). Dinner with a friend who is currently in the DNP program (she says it is tough!). And an interview for a job in the Emergency Department tomorrow.

Yes. I am nervous. Wish me luck!

Plan.

Anniversary walk at Jordanelle.

Since going to that information session for graduate school a few weeks ago, I've spent a great deal of time in my head, thinking about what is the next best step for me both personally and professionally. After a late-night talk and a lot of miscommunication on what each of us believed to be the best path forward for our collective futures, Lee and I left the conversation and my dream of attending graduate school completely unresolved.

But now we have a plan.

At this time I am moving full-steam ahead with both going back to work and applying for the fall 2015 start of the Doctorate of Nurse Practitioner program. I don't know yet if I will return to my roots in the ICU or the ER or if I will go in an entirely different career direction while I await the start of school. And who knows if I even stand a chance of getting into the program next year.

It just feels so good to finally have a plan for my future. And for our future.

 

Strange plants along the shore of the reservoir.

Weekend.

Homemade apple chips! Here's the recipe.

I'm a bit paralyzed at the moment with thinking about a major career/professional decision and my head just isn't clear enough to write about our weekend. So please enjoy a few photos I took of us making apple chips on Saturday.

And wish me some clarity and peace of mind on what to do next.

Weekend Workouts: Saturday - Rest day! Sunday - Hike with Jill! Church Fork to Grandeur Peak. 6.7 miles/3:00/2,555 ft elev gain.

Grad School.

Trail run this morning to beautiful Lake Blanche & Sundial Peak.

Last night I went to an information session at the College of Nursing at the University of Utah for their graduate program, specifically their Psychiatric/Mental Health Doctorate Nurse Practitioner program. And as the room filled with people and the presentation began, I started to get excited at the thought of going back to school.

I was also totally terrified.

At this time I am mostly terrified of the application process and the competitiveness of the program. Writing a professional statement and finding former professors and managers and colleagues to write letters of recommendation just seems like a daunting task. And I thought the Psychiatric DNP wouldn't be nearly as popular or competitive as some of the other specialties but when we broke out into groups, the room was filled with eleven people all interested in that graduate program.

They only take 10-12 students a year. And there are three more info sessions before the application deadline.

On top of the anxiety of the application process, I'm also wondering if now is the time for me to jump into the full-time, three-year program. I worry about the inevitable increase in preschool/daycare hours that will have to happen and then there is the cost of the program, neither of which will be cheap. And then having been out of the workforce for over two years and not having nearly as much psychiatric experience as some of the other people interested in the program, I wonder if waiting another year while working in the psychiatric field might be a better plan.

There is a sense of urgency within me, though, to move forward professionally and waiting that year to apply feels like I am putting my professional goals on the back burner. I feel like I have sacrificed so much professionally over the years with moves to different cities, having a baby and then staying home to raise her that I selfishly feel like it's my turn to do what I want to do, when I want to do it.

I think I need to hit the trails a bit more for some deep thinking before I make this major life decision.

Yellow aspens & Lake Blanche.

What's next?

Sunday's hike to Red Pine Lake. Little Cottonwood Canyon.

Now that we've made the decision to have only one child, I suddenly have this urge to move forward with things I felt needed to be put off until after having another baby. For some reason I was apprehensive about moving forward with my personal life if it was just going to be put on hold again to grow, birth and raise a second child.

Just today, for instance, I've filled out an application for preschool for Alice, I've researched the requirements for the Doctorate of Nurse Practitioner program at the University of Utah (I'm attending an information session in two weeks!) and I'm thinking of running another 50K in just a month.

Another 50K without really training might be a bit ambitious, though. So we'll see about that last one.

Our Decision.

Bacon & artichoke heart-stuffed zucchini. // A rainy walk to get ice cream.

When I went to a reproductive endocrinologist a few months ago to try to figure out why I wasn't pregnant after a year and a half of trying, I felt torn as to whether or not I truly wanted to have another baby. At the time, the thought of not continuing to try to get pregnant made me feel panicky and anxious. We had been trying so hard for so long that I wasn't ready make that decision just yet.

But now I am.

For the last few weeks, I've allowed the emotions to come up regarding not having another baby and yes, at first, those panicky and anxious feelings dominated my thoughts. But, as the weeks passed and as we have had time to discuss how our lives would look with only one child, the panic and anxiety have subsided and I've started to see the beautiful life that we will have raising just Alice. The beautiful life that we already have raising just Alice.

I finally feel comfortable saying that I don't want to have another baby and that we are making the choice to stop at one child. Most everyone that I've shared this with has been supportive but there have been a few who, without knowing what we've been through, have made insensitive remarks regarding only children. Being comfortable with our decision, I've managed to take those comments in stride and have used it as an opportunity to have a discussion as to why people believe that we must give Alice a sibling for her to turn out normal or so that she can have a life-long friend or whatever other misconceptions they have about only children.

As someone who only has a relationship with one of her three siblings, I can immediately dispel at least one of those misconceptions.

After so many months of uncertainty, I feel at peace with our decision. And I feel excited and happy about our future together. Just us three.

Weekend Workouts: Saturday & Sunday - I was INSANELY sore from back squats and then 150 wall balls that I could barely walk, so... Rest day!

Alice reveling in the beauty. Snowbird Ski & Summer Resort.

More future-talk.

Pastries & cappuccinos from Tuile, the perfect snack while talking about death.

Along with thinking about whether or not we want to have another baby, Lee and I have been spending a lot of time talking about who would take guardianship of Alice if we both suddenly died. It's an uncomfortable topic but one that is so important to plan for since (obviously) no one actually knows when they are going to die.

Lee and I gave this a lot of thought and had many discussions about who would be the best fit to raise Alice in a way similar to how we would raise her if we were no longer around. Similar age, religious beliefs (or in our case, lack of religious beliefs), lifestyle and the desire to possibly (and also very suddenly) have another child were all factors we considered when making this decision.

Over the weekend we met with our friends who fit those criteria and who are also willing to raise Alice should we die or become incapable of caring for her. They are two wonderful people who share our values and who I know would be great parents to Alice should anything happen to us.

Of course the ideal situation is that nothing happens to either of us and we raise Alice ourselve but the reality is that we are all going to die! The when is just hopefully not any time soon.

Do you have plans in place of who will raise your kids if something tragic happens? Such a serious topic for a Tuesday afternoon, huh?

And P.S., I'm thinking of doing another Whole30 starting June 11th. Anyone want to join me?!

Fried eggs over sweet potato hash with bacon.

Noodling.

One little monkey jumping on the bed.

I've been noodling on a major life decision the last few days and am not in a head-space to talk about it just yet.

Do you ever wish you had the gift of foresight? I certainly do.

Weekend.

Asparagus, ready for the grill. // Saturday breakfast.

With the return of the warmer weather, our weekend felt busier than usual as bike rides and walks to dinner and backyard barbecues filled our days.  On Friday Lee barbecued steaks and vegetables and then, after Alice went to bed, we did more neighborhood sleuthing on the scum-bag drug dealers on our street (I even called out the Mayor on Instagram).  But more on that another day.

On Saturday our neighbors invited us to their loft for early-afternoon drinks and then a walk to a new downtown restaurant for dinner.  As we sat around, talking and drinking, the topic of children came up and I found out that the hostess and the other woman in our conversation both only have one child.  After they commiserated and laughed over raising teenage girls, I mustered the courage to ask how they felt about raising an only-child.

It's so funny how the universe works when you are searching for an answer.

One of the women said she was happy that she and her husband decided to only have one child and, at the time and now many years later, she still feels they made the right decision.  And then the other woman said the complete opposite, wishing she'd had another baby.

You can see where this is going.

Obviously as the months go by without an announcement to make, I am starting to feel more comfortable with Alice possibly being our only child.  That's not to say I'm ready to throw in the towel just yet but I do see some big up-sides to only having one.  Restarting my career.  Going back to school.  Keeping my abs and my body intact.  Living with a smaller ecological footprint.  And, of course, being able to easily live in our lovely small-space loft for that much longer. 

How was your weekend?

Weekend Workouts: Saturday - Rest day! Sunday - Bike ride! 32 miles//1:54//2,034 ft elev gain.

Sunday morning bike ride! // Alice's first go on a trampoline. // My childhood Glo-Worm. Alice's new favorite toy.

Thirty-five.

 Five years ago, I spent my 30th with these guys. South Africa, January '09.

Today I turn 35 years old.  And for some reason, thirty-five feels like a really big deal to me as it just sounds so much older than saying that I'm thirty-four.  I certainly don't feel thirty-five.  But what is thirty-five supposed to feel like anyway?

I started off my birthday like I usually do on the day that I turn a year older: With a workout.  There is something so special to me about sweating profusely and getting my heart rate up on the day that I was born, like I'm paying homage to what happened thirty-five years ago today when my mom pushed me into this world and I took my first breath. 

It's like a little reminder that I am alive and healthy and that my body has made it another year.

The rest of my birthday is shaping up quite nicely.  Cupcakes and espressos have already been had with friends this morning (thanks, Jaimie & Jill!).  Alice is taking an epic afternoon nap at the moment (thanks, Lovebug!).  I received a surprise birthday gift in the mail from a dear friend (thanks, Ashlan!).  And then later tonight, Lee is making my favorite dinner of all-time with the salad dressing that I could drink: the Spicy Kale and Bacon Salad with Gouda.

I guess turning thirty-five isn't that bad afterall.

And P.S., A look back at my 30th, 32nd, 33rd (and 33-weeks pregnant!), and 34th birthdays.

 The Cape of Good Hope on my 10,950th day on Earth.

Changes.

Little urban adventurer.

I feel a little spread thin lately with moving and unpacking and entertaining a toddler while Lee works from home and keeping up my workouts and... blogging. I know it's been a bit dull around here lately but that is hopefully about to change.

With September coming to an end, a new chapter begins for our little family. As of October 1st, Alice will have both of her parents staying at home! That's right. Neither of us will be working. Major life changes happening over here.

So stay tuned as we finish (start?!) our loft remodel and embrace small space living. Follow along as we learn to live on a smaller budget. And bear with us as we figure out what will be our next step.

Weekly workouts: Monday - Rest day! Tuesday - CrossFit! 2 rounds of 5-4-3-2-1 reps of handstand push-ups (2 ab-mats then did deficits to the ground) + strict pull-ups (BLUE BAND ONLY!), then 3 rounds for time of 8 power cleans (90lbs) + 12 dips (red band) + 16 toes-to-bar (I finally did an actual toes to bar! But not for the entire workout). Wednesday - 3 sets of 5 snatch balances (63 lbs), then 4 rounds for time of 400-meter run + 25 kettle bell swings (35lbs) with a two-min rest in between each round. Thursday - Walk! 5 miles in the AM with a friend. Then 3 miles in the afternoon with another friend. Friday - CrossFit! Find a 5-rep max for strict shoulder press (73lbs... GRRRR!), then 15 min as many rounds as possible of 5 power snatches (55lbs) + 10 push-ups (knees) = 11 rounds + 2 reps.

Morning coffee & the State Capitol.

The next chapter.

The Wasatch mountains. Sept 2011.

On Tuesday morning (the same day I wrote this post) I thought we'd be living in Boston for at least another 18 months.  And then, later that day, I found out we'd only be living here until the end of August!  After 16 years of working at his current company, Lee has decided to move in a different direction with his career.  We just aren't sure what that different direction is quite yet.

It is both thrilling and terrifying all at once.

We do know that we will be moving back into our beloved loft in downtown Salt Lake City.  Two adults.  One toddler.  Two cats.  All in 1,000 square feet.  And, oh.  Because it's a loft, there are no dividing walls and the only doors in the place are the front door and bathroom door.  It will be challenging.  But we are totally up for the challenge!  And we have some pretty grand plans for the space that I can't wait to share with you.

Lee will take the next few months off to spend time with Alice and me.  We'll do a bit of traveling.  We'll do a bunch of mountain biking.  I'll do a lot of blogging.  And we'll both do some figuring out on what our plans are for the future.

What is the scariest/most exciting career move you've ever made?  Moving to Boston and working in the E.R. at Mass General was sort of scary for me.  I mean, after seeing some of my future coworkers on Boston Med, wouldn't you be nervous?!

Home, sweet home! Downtown SLC.

Weekly workouts: Monday - Rest day! Tuesday - Crossfit: 5 sets of 3 good morning squats (95lbs), then 63 kettle bell snatch with overhead lunge (26lbs). Wednesday - Crossfit: 6 clean dead lifts + 12 clean pulls + 12 squat cleans (65lbs) + 143 double-under jump ropes. Thursday - Crossfit: Cindy! 75 pullups (green band) + 150 push-ups (knees) + 215 squats (10 squats shy of 15 rounds!). Friday - Rest day!

Community.

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the concept of community and how my ideas about it have changed since having Alice.  Growing up with a single mom who worked long hours to make ends meet, my community was essential to helping raise both my sister and me.  We were the definition of latchkey kids and our welcoming and observant neighbors were always willing to make an extra sandwich for an after-school snack or set a few more plates for dinner for two little girls. Without those connections to our community and with what little adult supervision we often had at home, I'm not sure either of us would be where we are today.

Our conversations late at night after Alice has gone to bed often turn to what kind of community we want to live in and help create for our little family.  Having lived in apartments for the last decade and a half, I've found that apartment living isn't usually conducive to getting to know your neighbors and making friends.  Most people who rent apartments are in a holding pattern for something else.  Waiting for that new job.  Saving up for a first home.  Or finishing school before moving onto the next thing.  There is a transience in apartment dwellers that oftentimes impedes the building of a community.

Having Alice has helped me realize all that I want for her in where we ultimately live.  Neighbors who look out for one another.  Parents involved in the local schools.  A feeling of safety as she plays outside with other neighborhood kids.  A front lawn!!    

And a backyard barbeque or two.

Are you in a holding pattern with where you are living?  Or are you planning to live where you are for awhile?