Bacon & artichoke heart-stuffed zucchini. // A rainy walk to get ice cream.
When I went to a reproductive endocrinologist a few months ago to try to figure out why I wasn't pregnant after a year and a half of trying, I felt torn as to whether or not I truly wanted to have another baby. At the time, the thought of not continuing to try to get pregnant made me feel panicky and anxious. We had been trying so hard for so long that I wasn't ready make that decision just yet.
But now I am.
For the last few weeks, I've allowed the emotions to come up regarding not having another baby and yes, at first, those panicky and anxious feelings dominated my thoughts. But, as the weeks passed and as we have had time to discuss how our lives would look with only one child, the panic and anxiety have subsided and I've started to see the beautiful life that we will have raising just Alice. The beautiful life that we already have raising just Alice.
I finally feel comfortable saying that I don't want to have another baby and that we are making the choice to stop at one child. Most everyone that I've shared this with has been supportive but there have been a few who, without knowing what we've been through, have made insensitive remarks regarding only children. Being comfortable with our decision, I've managed to take those comments in stride and have used it as an opportunity to have a discussion as to why people believe that we must give Alice a sibling for her to turn out normal or so that she can have a life-long friend or whatever other misconceptions they have about only children.
As someone who only has a relationship with one of her three siblings, I can immediately dispel at least one of those misconceptions.
After so many months of uncertainty, I feel at peace with our decision. And I feel excited and happy about our future together. Just us three.
Weekend Workouts: Saturday & Sunday - I was INSANELY sore from back squats and then 150 wall balls that I could barely walk, so... Rest day!
Alice reveling in the beauty. Snowbird Ski & Summer Resort.
I think it's wonderful you've been able to share on your blog what must be a very difficult decision. *hugs*ReplyDelete
I am so happy you are at peace. That is what matters. And how dare anyone judge you for having one or ten.ReplyDelete
I don't get the choice of having another child, so I would be offended by a comment such as that.
I am happy you can move forward :)
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Bri, I'm so happy for you and your cute family of three. I know this decision wasn't easy but it sounds like you've have lots of time for reflection and great support from your husband. Trying to have a baby is the most difficult and stressful thing I have ever done in my life and the emotional toll is takes on us and our relationships sometimes feels unbearable. You must feel a great sense of relief. I hope to someday be in your shoes. xoxoReplyDelete
Thank you for sharing such personal thoughts with us -- I think it's a testament to the confident, level-headed person you are. And by the way, one of my nearest and dearest friends is an only child. He is giving, understanding, intelligent, thoughtful, and mature. Alice will be MORE than normal!ReplyDelete
Congratulations on making this big decision. I'm not sure what your circle was like here in Boston, but only children are all the rage with my friends (I'm the oddball for pushing for more). I have mentioned that I was an only child, and what I loved most was not getting cast into the 'kid' slot and having the opportunity to travel and experience things alongside my mom. From what I've seen, you guys provide Alice with the most increadable life experiences, she's so lucky!ReplyDelete
We love you 3... no matter what your choice is. Just be happy and enjoy your wonderful little girl and each other. xoxoReplyDelete
What a hard decision to have to have faced. It sounds as though you have made the best decision for you guys and that's all that matters. I still can't get over how rude some people can be! Of course Alice will be normal, she has level headed, normal parents xReplyDelete
You are beautiful and strong. Love seeing what you do and reading random musings.ReplyDelete
From, a random admirer.