Thursday, August 1, 2013

Mom friends.

This kid, always with a snack in hand.

The other day I read somewhere that it takes up to three years once you move someplace new to start feeling like you've built a community.  For me, it was more like two or so years but I completely agree.  And when I finally stopped pining for our life in Utah and started making an effort to make friends and build a community here in Boston, we're moving home.  Go figure. 

I remember during the early days of motherhood, when out for all those crank walks, I'd see moms pushing strollers with babies close in age to Alice and I'd have to fight the urge to go up to them and say, Hi. We're both moms. Do you want to be my friend?  Fortunately there were those baby groups I took Alice to when she was just a wee little baby and then we joined a group at our local library where the environment was more conducive for making friends (unlike me trying to strike up a friendship with a random mom just out for a walk).    

After I mentally planted both feet firmly here in Boston, I decided to stop complaining about not having friends and feeling lonely during my days at home and do something about it.  So I started initiating play dates and trips to the park and outings for lunch or coffee with moms from play groups.  And, imagine that!  I made friends.  Feeling comfortable with stepping out of my comfort zone and initiating friendships is definitely a life lesson I've learned while living in Boston.  

I have met some wonderful women whom I've grown incredibly close to over the last 16 months, making this move home bittersweet.  I've known some of these women since their babies were just a few weeks old and we've shared stories of the ups and downs and the struggles and triumphs of being new moms.  I've loved watching their babies grow right alongside Alice as they rolled over, crawled and eventually walked at our play dates.  It is a bit sad to think Alice's time with these kids and their moms is coming to an end.

But that's what Facebook and Instagram are for, right?

Have you made new friends since becoming a mom?  Or did your longtime friends have kids around the same time you did?  The nice thing about moving back to Salt Lake City is that many of my high school friends still live there.  But most of my friends had kids in their early 20's and are now raising tweens and teens!  Maybe their kids will be my go-to babysitters instead of Alice's playmates.


  1. Oh, you sound like a military wife!

    Since I move every three years, I have to jump in right away. And I NEED friends to survive.

    I don't have any close friends that had kids in their 20's. Everyone did college, many went to grad school, then marriage, travel, babies. So we all have kids five and under I would say.

    I had a good group of Mom friends, but being military...they all have moved! :( I miss it, and as Nol grows he needs more friends, too.

    I know you will meet some cool new friends. Ones that like to ski and hike and run :)

  2. I moved while I was 8 months pregnant. So I had to make new friends in our new home. Having a baby made it really easy! I made alot of my friends through a lactation support group at my hospital. That was a godsend!

  3. I'm glad you had those opportunities to make new friends in Boston... which you can always continue and keep in contact with them, via email and skype. In Utah, you will have access to old friends and make new friends too. It will be the start of a new adventure, with Alice making new friends too. Have fun. xo

  4. Yeah. I was the first in one circle of friends to have babies, so now they are all starting and I have a 4 and 2 year old and loads of helpful tips. Another group had babies at the exact same time as me. Between Sept 15 and Oct 17, 3 of us had babies. We were like that old tostitoes commercial and it was great.

    I'm glad you got out and made friends, and I hope you'll managed to keep them when you move home.


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