Monday, September 12, 2011

Wanderlust (again).

 SLC. View from our downtown loft.    

I'm a mess.  Coming back to Salt Lake always seems to do this to me.  I always seem to become so homesick for being a Utahn that I start to dread going back to Boston.  Don't get me wrong... we have a wonderful life in Boston.  We have a beautiful apartment and I really like my job and I work with some awesome people and Lee is traveling less because he is close to his corporate office but.....

Boston still does not feel like home. 

I'm starting to think that it will never feel like home, no matter how much I try to forget about Salt Lake.  About our beautiful loft in downtown.  About my amazing friends, both old and new.  About the gorgeous natural beauty that surrounds this city.  No matter how much I try to remind myself that we live in Boston now and that Boston is our home, I just can't seem to forget about the life I'd like to be living in Salt Lake.

I think becoming pregnant and having a baby (in 6 months!) is making me feel more homesick than usual.  I worry about being practically alone on the entirely opposite coast from our families.  I worry about not having a support network of family and friends to rely on those first few hectic months of being a new mom.  I worry about my parents and Lee's parents only seeing their grandchild once a year.  I worry about a lot of things... but all this worry (and whining!) needs to stop.

Things are great in our world. We have jobs. We have our health. We have each other. Remember that!

All really is well.

Dude.  What is up with all this wanderlust?  Do you ever suffer from the grass-is-always-greener crap?  Obviously, I do.  Moving home to SLC isn't the be-all, end-all of our lives.  It'll happen.  I just need to chill out.  Seriously.


  1. Some day you will come back to Utah to live, and not just to visit. Utah has such a wide variety of scenic vistas, fantastic outdoor activities, I could list a ton of reasons, but you already know and have experienced the wonderful things Utah has to offer. Some day, some day!

  2. Utah misses you too! I was sad I was only able to see you for like 5 seconds! My breaks are always so hectic, and I know your weekend was too. I'm sure it won't be too long until I see you again. And after this trip I'll be done for a couple weeks and we can get all caught up. I miss you!

  3. It is SO hard being away from home. I've lived in Korea and Mexico, and it's never easy, no matter how much I may like the place. Portland is always home. My parents lived close in Mexico, and it still was not home. Now that I've moved back to Portland I know that I'll miss Mexico - I always end up missing BOTH places when I'm in the other place. I've reconciled it to myself that that will always happen, and I can't help it.

  4. UGH! I feel your pain being away from home. I run through all the scenarios your messing with (grandbabies only being seen 1/year etc.) and it kills me! Maybe Boston will feel more like home when you have the baby there though because it will be like starting your own roots! I hope you start to feel better about things soon, being homesick is no fun!

  5. I know how you feel! Having a new baby in a different town without the "networks" is VERY hard. Hopefully you will have more community support in Boston. BTW, seeing your photos makes me LONG to be in SLC right now too... It has been hard reading your blog as of late! I hope you had a great time.

  6. All your worries sound perfectly normal. Even living in UT and not in CA with my family makes me homesick and worry about having kids so far away from my family. I can only imagine how you're feeling. I'm sure some of it is hormones too, right? One of the joys of being pregnant is you can blame everything on hormones!

  7. I am going through something similar.

    I it's the baby-since we move a lot.

    I feel sad he won't see his aunties until he is six months old, and that he will get to know his grandparents mostly through Skype.

    I just tell myself we won't always live far away. And you won't, either.


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