Tuesday, March 1, 2011

The Ex you never forget.

 (The California Incline. I ran this almost every day.)

 (The Santa Monica Pier and the Strand.)

So I'm heading to L.A. this weekend. This will be my first time back since I moved over a year and a half ago.  And I'm nervous.  Like reeeally nervous.  When I left L.A., I was so ready to get out of there.  I'd spent the last 7 years living in Santa Monica and my time there had run it's course... I was ready to move back to Salt Lake City and marry the man of my dreams... ending the single-girl-in-L.A. lifestyle to start the happily-married-woman-in-SLC lifestyle.  I honestly haven't thought much about L.A. since I moved.  It was a great place to live while I was in my 20's but as I neared 30 and after having met Lee I knew I was ready for a change.  I really wasn't too sad about leaving my sort-of dumpy apartment less than a mile from the beaches of Santa Monica.  I didn't even cry as I loaded up my car with my cats and my stuff and headed East on the 10 in the direction of Salt Lake.  L.A. had been my home but I was more than ready to leave it behind.

I am heading to Santa Monica this weekend to visit my beautiful sister, KPT.  As I've started to plan this trip all of these memories of my time in L.A. have come flooding back... and it really makes me miss living there.  Like I get pangs of sadness for that city... a city I used to curse and make fun of for it's superficiality and obnoxious traffic.  I guess I must have amnesia for all the crap I hated.  I keep thinking about all of my favorite runs that I used to do... both along the beach on 'the Strand' and on the trails in the Santa Monica Mtns.  I am remembering all my favorite cafes and bars and restaurants and all the fun times and great food and drunken nights I've had there.  I am remembering the beautiful (and often annoying) perpetually sunny weather where there was hardly a day that wasn't blue skies and sunshine.  I've forgotten all that is bad about L.A.... and it's making me miss living there.  I am nervous that going there this weekend will make me really want to move back.

I don't know what my problem is.  I love so many cities and I can see myself living in so many places and I really need to get over that.  As I was thinking about my former life in Santa Monica I was saddened when I realized I will probably never live there again.  But that's okay.  Santa Monica will always be the place where I sort of figured myself out... where I left behind the bubble of my sheltered youth in Salt Lake City and figured out how I wanted to be in this world.

And for that, I am grateful.

(I'll always love you, So Cal!)

Do you get nostalgic for places you have lived in the past?  Yep.  Absolutely.  I even get nostalgic for cities I've never lived in!

If you could pick ONE place to live, where would it be?  Ooooh.  That's tough.  But not really.  San Francisco, all the way.

4 comments:

  1. I've only been to Santa Monica a few times but I can surely see why it is so popular. An Easy place to fall in love with! So glad you get to go back to visit.

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  2. I am going to be selfish and say, "MOVE BACK TO UTAH!!!" We could hang out everyday and play together. In a few years when Billy and I are living in San Clamente then you should move there. Seriously, there is nothing like running california, the amazing food, the weather.....but you are right the traffic sucks and it is expensive. If I could pick one place to live.....San Clemente ha, I really love it so much there and hopefully we can inherit my in-laws house:) When I went to St. George this weekend (where I grew up) I wanted to move back so so bad. Have an amazing time in Cali, maybe I will just have to come too...it is only a 10 hour drive. I get to meet you in 7 weeks....AHHHH!!! PS I AM LOVING YOUR LASHES!!!

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  3. You're probably nostalgic for LA because Boston is a big pile of misery right now. But it really is a gorgeous city. Soon you'll be dining on the patio here and people will really be eating, not guzzling some juice cleanse smoothie and ogling celebs like in LA! ;-P

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  4. I've only moved once and am very much NOT nostalgic for where I was before. I have been to Santa Monica (visited San Diego for a competition then family in LA and stayed in Santa Monica with the fam) My only memory is being on the Boulevard singing Sheryl Crow and watching the homeless dig through our garbage bins.

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