Thursday, September 5, 2013

Temperament.

Playing in the water. SLC Public Library Downtown.

Alice and I seem to be out of sync lately. Maybe for me it's the lingering stress from our move or maybe she's cranky from that last stubborn incisor that just won't poke through but at least once a day I find myself at the end of my rope, completely devoid of mommy patience.

Having hung around a lot of other babies Alice's age, I know she is on the higher end of the fiery temperament spectrum and, with us as her parents, I'm not surprised that she's a little head-strong, too. But that's part of the problem as I can also be fiery and head-strong. And when my patience is thin and Alice is testing the limits as is so common in this stage of her development I question whether staying at home with her is the right thing for me to do.

I also question whether having another kid is a good idea!

I love Alice more than anything. She is my world and I am so happy to be her mother but in the grand scheme of raising her, the toddler stage just might not be where I shine as a parent. And that's okay. But it took a conversation I had a few weeks back with a complete stranger for me to come to this realization. I was talking to a friend at CrossFit about how challenging my days at home with Alice can be when this other woman chimed in. She told me that she works as a nanny for a mom who stays at home with her three kids and the nanny is only there to take care of the youngest, who is just over a year old. She said the mom told her that those first two years of caring full-time for a baby just aren't where her strengths lie as a mom.

And I can totally relate.

So if Alice has a sibling, we might just send that kid to daycare during those toddler years. And in the meantime, I'm bringing back the two-a-day naps to see if that helps the moods of my little spitfire.

I think we have a bit of a drama queen on our hands.

6 comments:

  1. Those first two years ARE the hardest so far. I mean, I only have six under my belt, but let me assure you it does get so much easier.

    I have a similar situation. My first born's personality is very compatible to mine, and my third also! But, shhhhh don't tell, my second born is SOOOOO fiery-tempered and difficult! I think we butt heads because we are so alike, actually. I have had more than one person point this out to me. So I try to imagine that he is me, when I was a kid. Then I think about how I used to feel when I was really little and would get frustrated (usually when I was failing at doing something I really wanted to do). It actually takes me out of the moment and puts things in perspective.

    But man, is it hard. I hope the napping situation helps if you can get it to happen!

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  2. I agree with a lot of what you said. The first year, was all about breastfeeding for me. I am so glad I didn't have to go back to work, I really felt like Nolan NEEDED me, not only boobs, but just needed his Mom.

    Of course, at 21 months, he still needs me, but I can see how part time work for me, and part time day care for him, would be a very healthy thing for both of us. I would feel energized by working a bit, I think, and he would benefit by being around more children his age. He is a little slow on his speech, and I think that could help it along.

    So I get it. As their energy levels skyrocket, and they need a variety of activities to stay entertained and not bored, I feel how bringing in some reinforcements could be a good thing :)

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  4. Haha. You have a feisty kid because you named her Alice. ;) We have rough tempers. I have to admit that I too have some really temper filled children. 95% of the time they are kind and amazing little people full of love and spunk, but that other 5% I want to pull my hair out or just run FAR FAR AWAY!

    Know you are not alone, and seriously every mom has those moments where they don't feel they are the best. Hugs to you and know we've all been there, and one day your daughter will too. My mother has a smile reserved for when my little mini-me, pulls an "Alice" just like I used to!

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  5. I definitely need my three work days in order to be a better mum to Lulu & I know she needs the interaction from the other kids at daycare.

    But don't sell yourself short, moving is so stressful & if it's affecting you then maybe it's also affecting Alice a little bit too. It's a big thing for her world to have been packed up & moved across country. Maybe once you're all unpacked things will settle down a bit?

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  6. Alice IS a HAPPY baby! She just has her own opinions on how she wants things done! I love the pictures... Alice runs with her head first, arms back, so CUTE... right into the water (and the world). That is just her personality. xo

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