Thursday, March 21, 2013

Snappy & Impatient.

1st Birthday party prep.

On Tuesday I was very impatient with Alice.  All day, in fact.  At one point, I even snapped at her.  She was a tad needier than usual.  I felt on edge for some reason.  And because of that wretched winter storm, we were cooped up inside only venturing out of our apartment once to get the mail.  Miserable.

As the nature of mommy guilt goes, I felt terrible the second I shut her bedroom door after putting her to bed for the night.  I kept thinking about her startled little face looking up at me after I sternly (and loudly!) said her name and told her No! because she was whining.  I remember feeling annoyed at her little hands pulling at my leg begging to be picked up while I was trying to clean the kitchen.  The sickness I felt in my stomach after our day together was the reality check that I needed to realize she isn't the problem.  I am.

And so on Wednesday morning at my 5:30AM CrossFit class I got all my anger, all my frustration, all my annoyance out so that I could be a better, more patient momma to Alice that day.  While doing those thrusters and sit-ups and squats and kettlebell swings and handstand push-ups, I closed my eyes, gritted my teeth and let is all go.

And after that killer workout, that snappy and impatient momma was nowhere to be found.

Workouts: Monday - Rest day.  Tuesday - CrossFit: Strict shoulder press 5 sets of 3 (75lbs), then overhead presses (85lbs) with jump rope in between sets followed by 20 burpees (ugh). Wednesday - CrossFit: that madness described above!  Thursday - Planned to go to CrossFit this AM but I am too sore from yesterday!


  1. Oh, there were many times where I felt so guilty when I yelled at you and your little sister.

    My older sisters gave me some words of advice, which helped me. They said that ("I sounded like an old fish-wife, screaming orders, etc"). They asked me to think about the memories my children would have of me, if all they heard and remembered was my "screeching". It made me realize that I did sound shrill and out of control.

    I certainly did try to keep it under control a bit more. Hopefully, I didn't (damage) you kids too much by my yelling. Being a single mom, I felt out of control a lot and just helpless sometimes on how to handle the situations.

    You are much better prepared to be a mother than I was. Keep up the good work. Love you. xo

  2. Sometimes it really is so hard to be patient, especially when the whining seems to be for no reason. I read something useful yesterday about directing their attention to another positive activity rather than just saying no and don't all the time. So simple but it was a little bit of a breakthrough for me. The other thing I have to remind myself is that Lulu doesn't care if the kitchen is clean, she cares more about me being with her, so I need to let stuff go sometimes. Your workout on Wednesday sounded epic!


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