Beacon St. December 2011.
As we approach the end of 2012, I've started to think about goals for the coming year. Things I'd like to do better. Things I'd like to change altogether. There is something so rejuvenating about a new year. Is January 1st any different than December 31st? Not really. But that rolling over from one year to the next just makes it feels like a fresh start somehow.
Reading back on last year's resolutions, I feel like I did pretty well. And, honestly, a few of last year's may make it on the list again this year. I believe that, if you tell other people your goals and aspirations, you make yourself accountable to make them happen. So keep me accountable, you guys. And, if you are willing to share your resolutions, I'll do the same for you.
Something I'd like to do differently next year has become very apparent to me over the last few weeks and it will definitely be on my list of 2013 resolutions.
I suck at being present.
I spend a lot of time in my head. Thinking about the past. Thinking about the future. Thinking about what others are doing and comparing myself and then feeling badly about something someone else is doing that I am not (it's exhausting even typing that out!). But what is really bothersome to me about all of this, though, is I sometimes check out when I am interacting with Alice. Instead of engaging in play with her, I oftentimes peruse Facebook or Instagram or a blog post on my iPhone or iPad. I know that a little mental vacation is necessary but I've found that I am doing it more often than I'd like. And I start to feel terrible as Alice whines or reaches her hands towards me because it is obvious that I am not paying attention to her.
I want to lead by example with my daughter. And someone thumbing away on their mobile device during a conversation (or, in her case, during play time), isn't the example I want to set. So one of my resolutions for next year will be to stay in the present. Stop focusing on what others are doing and unfairly comparing it to what I am doing. Stop reliving the past or focusing on life in the future. Be here. And enjoy the very minute of life that I am living.
See?! I feel better already.
Bright lights. Big City.