Street Art. SLC, November 2012.
I felt in a funk all day yesterday. And that funk is still lingering a tiny bit today. I just had this nagging sense of inadequacy that I couldn't seem to shake. Inadequate as a homemaker, a blogger, a photographer, a cook. And I felt really inadequate as Alice's mom. A good night's sleep helped put things into perspective just a bit and I now have an idea where those feelings of inadequacy and sense of sadness stem from.
Last week I stopped breastfeeding Alice as her interest was waning and my supply was dwindling. And now I think my body is missing those feel-good breastfeeding hormones it had gotten so used over the last 8 months. I'd read a bit about depression with weaning here and here so I sort of knew I'd feel a bit down. What I didn't expect, though, were the feelings of Alice not needing me anymore. Feeling that she doesn't even really like me all that much! It sounds so dramatic and so irrational saying that now but it didn't feel that way as those thoughts went through my head yesterday.
In the light of a new day and after a few cups of coffee, I feel much better and those feelings of inadequacy have mostly faded.
Alice does need me! And she does like me! At least until her teenage years, anyway.
Street Art. Sunburst. And a crane.