So I am hoping that anyone out there reading this can somehow relate to my inner candy/sweet-tooth/junk food demons. Lately I have had an insatiable craving for all things junk.... candy (the stickier, the better), cookies, cake, chips, blah, blah, blah. Anything and everything that is and could be junk food seems to make it's way into my mouth with hardly a second thought. Now here's the catch.... I only seem to have this unstoppable urge while working night shifts!! Working the night shift is ruining my healthy ways and ultimately will make me fat if I don't put a stop to it!! Its a good thing I love to run/bike/work out!
There seems to be a window of time... lets call it the golden hour... where all logic and self-control eludes me and I become a slave to my cravings. Like clockwork, at 4 a.m., my inner candy/junk food alarm goes off and I am on the hunt for anything containing high fructose corn syrup or hydrogenated fats. I am an addict looking for a fix and nothing will quench my craving better than something from the vending machine or a piece of candy squirreled away somewhere in my purse. Now this is coming from a person who didn't eat any candy... not even one piece.... for almost TWO YEARS!! And now I'm like a fiend for it. It is pathetic, really.
I always have the best intentions when I start my 12-hour shift that I will not give in to my ludicrous cravings but all that flies out the window as the clock ticks towards 4 a.m. In an attempt to break my unhealthy habits, I intentionally leave all cash and coin at home so that I don't have means to get my drug of choice from my dealer, i.e. the vending machine. I also bring healthy snacks such as grapes or strawberries to dissuade my candy demon but those snacks never seem to make it into my brain as a viable snack option at that hour. My coworkers are of no help either because many of them suffer from the same affliction as I do and become accomplices in the 4 a.m. search for all things junk food... we're like an escaped group of fat kids from fat camp and will stop at nothing until our drugs of choice are safely in our hands. Short from handcuffing myself to the nurses station (which would make taking care of my patients a bit difficult) I am at a loss for a solution to my problem.
Like I said... when I am not working and not sleep-deprived, I have the self-control of a saint. I have no problems not eating that sh*t when I am at home and well-rested. There is something about being tired and being up at that hour that makes it virtually impossible for me to stop myself from giving in to that behavior.
Maybe by confessing my addiction, I will feel accountable for my behavior in the future. So here it goes...
Hello. My name is Briana and I am addicted to candy and junk food.
If I can't stop my addiction now, bring on the diabetes and dental carries!! Ugh... help!